personal reflections on two years of marriage

In nine days, my hubby and I will celebrate our second wedding anniversary.  Our wedding day is still vividly preserved in my memory, as I know it will be for years to come.  I can see the chocolate brown of the tablecloths, the bright blue and white of the fresh hydrangeas popping up over the tables in beautiful arrangements.  I can smell the slight hint of salt that the ocean breeze blew inland, and the feeling I had when I slipped on my white wedding gown and zipped it up the side is still richly imprinted on my mind.  Although two years seems to have passed by quickly, I also feel that the amount of time has allowed me to grow and mature, to experience many new things and make new memories.

I remember the night that I first met Eric in December 2006 at my company's Christmas party.  Despite the fact he is insistent I was wearing a red dress, when in fact I was wearing black pants and a black top, we often reminisce about the first meeting that he remembers clearly too.  There are a few slight discrepancies between our memories of that night.  Aside from the red dress debate, he also contests that he was standing at a bar, ready to offer me a drink when I allegedly walked by quickly with only a brief smile.  I continue to argue that if he wanted to talk so bad, he could have gone after me.  The second meeting, in January 2007 can perhaps be considered the real start of it all.  During a Saints vs. Bears playoff game, he asked me out on a first date and two and a half years later we were married.

Aside from the first six weeks of our marriage which were spent living in NYC, the rest of our time has been spent in Columbia, South Carolina.  A place neither of us had spent any time previously.  The move was difficult for me; I always thought I was adventurous, up to live anywhere and ready for big changes.  In reality, it was hard to move from my friends and to still live so far away from my family.  I find myself now very thankful for the challenge.  It gave our new marriage the opportunity to be removed from everything safe and familiar.  We have taken the opportunity to discover the many great things about the place we live, which has even led us to discoveries about each other and our interests.  It has also challenged us to go out and make new friends, to be independent and outgoing. 

The move was not the only huge change we took on post-wedding; relocating coincided with our purchasing a franchise.  We would own our own business.  I think we were both slightly apprehensive of how it would be working together.  It all happened so fast that we really didn't have too much time to worry about it.  I could say luckily I love working together, but I don't really believe it has anything to do with luck.  I think it has been an exercise in understanding each other better, maintaining respect for one another and putting forth good old fashioned effort.  I've witnessed a very commanding, determined, pragmatic and discerning side to the person I married that I'm very proud of.  Working together has exposed our strengths (which oftentimes are different) and our weaknesses.  It has led to a different understanding of one another and a deeper appreciation.  Admittedly it isn't always rosy; sometimes we disagree on how to solve a problem, how to approach a situation, it's all part of working together.

Personally, I believe that love has many different levels, different meanings and different applications.  I love my friends for their companionship, loyalty and fun-loving nature.  I love my family for supporting and loving me back unconditionally.  I have even learned over the years (an ongoing process) to love myself, to appreciate my own abilities and to love other people in return.  In my marriage, I love my partner in each of those different ways.  

Undoubtedly, the next few years will feel like they flew by.  In my twenty-seventh year, I feel self-aware while still a bit unsure of what the future will hold; but as I continue to grow as a person, I know we will continue to grow together in our relationship.  

As we count the passing years and celebrate anniversaries to come, I'll keep close the memory of the first Christmas party, and of saying "yes" to being asked out on a first date.  I'll still recall the intense fluttering in my stomach and rush to my head as I looked at the man before me down on one knee with a ring in his outstretched hand.  An imprint of the sounds, smells and people that were there on our wedding day will remain on my mind and now I also have these first two years of change, challenge, triumph and growing to look back on and cherish.   

Chains do not hold a marriage together.  It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.  ~Simone Signoret  

Snow and Resolutions

I woke up yesterday morning to a world covered in white.  This is not at all normal for where I live so it evoked a sense of excitement and a little bit of apprehension at what this would mean for my Monday.  I turned on the TV to channel after channel of local newspeople and weathermen and women standing out on the side of the road and on overpasses, trying to stay warm while they reported that it was in fact, snowing.  After living in New York for a few years it seemed at first odd for a place to be up in arms that the ground was covered with cold, wet snow.  But as I listened I realized that shutting down the town due to the inclement weather was indeed a good course of action.  As the morning hours passed by with more and more flakes of white falling from the sky, the newspeople reported the increasing number of accidents - 230 by 9AM.  People were urged to stay at home which was the obvious choice especially seeing that all schools, restaurants and businesses had closed their doors for the day.

I watched from inside my apartment as the snow accumulated on the cars and streets below.  There's something a little bit magical about snow - it blankets the ground and inevitably makes moving about town to do daily activities more challenging.  But it also brings a calm quiet with it's presence, a type of serenity characteristic of winter months and the feeling of solitude and peacefulness.  So yesterday I took the opportunity of no work and a snow day to relax and enjoy the quiet solitude.

Yesterday's winter weather paired with the imminent BCS championship football game reminded me that we're in a new year and football is almost over.  I know we're only 11 days in, but it seems that every year after the buzz of the holidays and new years fades into the past - I'm guilty of returning to the daily routines in life and I sometimes forget about all those new years resolutions, ideas and promises that the new year was supposed to bring.  I've had a tough time thinking of resolutions this year.  I'm not sure if that makes me a bad person, someone less committed, or maybe I've just reached an honesty with myself.  To be frank, when thinking about resolutions this year I felt tired of telling myself I'd get in better shape, I would eat better or I would try to save my money better.  Those are all things I want to be better at, but I thought that maybe this year I could "think outside the box" for a change. Maybe I'm getting a bit too altruistic - maybe I'm on to something... I have no clue.  Here's my vain attempt to list my top resolutions for the year.  And with that, bring on 2011!

Be Thankful for the People in My Life Every Day
      I know... this sounds kind of cheesy but I'm serious.  I'm lucky to have a close family, one where we all care about each other and what's going on in each others lives.  And I'm lucky to have very loyal and considerate friends.  I'm thankful to have such wonderful people in my life.

Write more, think less

     So I don't mean this to be taken literally - don't worry, I wont stop thinking all together.  But I love to write and a lot of times, I don't know what to write about.  Writers block feels just how it sounds, like some wall was physically put up in my head, preventing any creative juices from working to write. I want to resolve to think less about what to write and maybe it will help me write more... let's see how that goes.

Learn to sail

     This is me and my hubby's resolution together - I guess it's more like a year's goal than a resolution.  When trying to think of something new that we both wanted to learn, this is the idea that came up and we were both excited about it.  So we'll embark on that adventure, when it's warmer of course - I'm sure the learning experience will warrant some good writing.

Train for and complete a half marathon

   So I know this sort of fits into the no-no land of resolutions that I was haphazardly trying to avoid.  It must be included in my resolutions because I'm signed up to run one of these races thanks to one of my best friends.  I'm grateful for her drive and motivation and "lets do it!" attitude because as I told her the other day: "if I wasn't already signed up for this, I'm not so sure I'd have the gusto to train and do this"  But I"m locked in, paid in full and there are no refunds, so very soon I will start the training... 13.1 miles, I WILL conquer it!

Be an even better business partner

   A lot of people ask me how it is to work with my husband.  I can say with complete an utter honesty that it's wonderful.  I think we are fortunate that we rely on each others strengths which are different and great in their own ways. This allows us to work seamlessly and with minimal head-butting.  That said, I want to be an even better business owner and partner.  Greater ideas, more sales, less grumbling when doing the less glamorous tasks.  

First Anniversary

My hair was swept up into an intricate winding collection of curls pinned to my head.  Nestled within the curls was a broach that belonged to my Great Grandmother, three generations before me.  When I close my eyes I can see the folds of the white dress that fell just right tapering out towards the ground. The blues, greens and whites of the flowers blend together in my mind like a brilliant watercolor.  I can hear voices of family and friends, a calm excitement that filled the air.  The sky was a brilliant blue and I remember a bright sun high in the sky...

With such vivid images and memories, it's hard to believe that almost one year has swept by.  One year seems like a significant amount of time and it is.  But by the same token, one year can pass by so quickly sometimes it's hard to take in all that happened. 

So on Sunday it will officially mark our First Anniversary.  We made it.  For us the first year included leaving our jobs, moving to a new state, and working alongside one another... triple whammie.  With such immense change applied to our lives, I admit, at first I was a bit apprehensive of what the year would bring.  No doubt, I knew it would be an adventure, but how would it all unfold? With 360 of the 365 days now in the past, I can say in complete and utter honesty - It has been nothing short of wonderful. 

Thinking about a year gone by always makes me think about a year ahead.  What will it bring? What new things will be discovered?  What experiences will be lived? In looking back and reflecting on the past, I always find I have new sense of awe and wonderment for what is to come.  One year ago I remember feeling the anticipation of such a momentous occasion which was only five days away - my wedding day.  In all honesty, I had a picture of what the day might look like, but really wasn't sure what to expect.  What unfolded was a dream transformed to reality.  Beautiful colors and sounds, so many familiar faces and all around an unforgettable experience.  I'm not sure I could have ever truly anticipated the emotion that was felt and all that the day encompassed.

I suppose it is virtually impossible to know a feeling or emotion or what something will actually be like until it is experienced.  I'll always look back on that day, almost a year ago, and relish in the beautiful and intoxicating memories - thinking of those, I can't wait for what is to come.

If These Walls Could Talk

Bubble wrap.  There was lots and lots of bubble wrap.  I was watching the news a few weeks ago when the anchor mentioned the inventor, Alfred Fielding, had passed away. The anchor explained that Mr. Fielding's ingenious idea had come to him while on an airplane. As he looked out the window at the bubble-looking clouds below, the idea came - why not create wrap that could be used as a protective layer?

That's one of those, now why didn't I think of that momments.

In this particular instance, I was glad they used so much of that plastic pop-wrap.  It was layered and taped to protect a table and six chairs that had just arrived at my apartment after making a cross country journey.  I was fortunate enough to inherit this beautiful set of furniture from my Great Aunt who recently passed.  It's the first time I have owned a passed down piece from my family and consequently, the nicest piece of furniture I have.

As I worked my way through the stubborn and tightly bound wrap, I couldn't help but think about the journey this table and six chairs has been on.  How many people sat in those seats, how many meals were served, cups of coffee poured and pieces of cake sliced? This table undoubtedly has a story, and I'm sure a fascinating one.  But of course, the whole of it, no one will ever know.  Those experiences and happenings will only be recorded through the wear in the wood, maybe an occassional stain on one chair or maybe even just the silent presence of such a beautiful piece of furniture.

Imagine what stories we would have if that table, other family heirlooms, even rugs, clocks, a piece of jewelry, or the very walls in an old home could talk.  I know this is not a new concept but nonetheless it's an interesting one to think about.  As the table sits in our living room, people will pass by each day, conversations will be held in its seats and meals will be set on its surface.  As me and my family partake in the continuation of this table's history, I'll simply continue to wonder about its past.

Maybe it's crazy I wonder so much about an inanimate object's experiences.  My curiosity gets the better of me sometimes... nevertheless, until that table and chair gets bubble wrapped up again to make it's next journey, there will be lots of coffee poured and cake sliced and holidays had on it's surface right here in my home.